Frankly, it’s been a relatively boring couple of weeks. “Arrow” is on hiatus. “Downton Abbey” is over for good. And it’s been R A I N I N G like crazy. However, there are a few things to discuss…
Dropped another pound (that’s 5 total – ever so slowly)…
While I haven’t been in the gym as much the last couple of weeks, I have been fairly good about tracking foods and watching the intake. Damn I’m a fricking eating machine when I get home in the evening. What, I wonder, does that tap into? It’s annoying as fuck. While I’m at work the level of control, as well as the LACK of the need to put something in my mouth (keep your dirty thoughts to yourself please!) is great. At home, it’s a completely different story. I have to assume that I’m not alone in this. Is it boredom? Is it procrastination for the few things that I still have on my list of “to do’s”? Is it loneliness? I wonder if it’s a combination of all things.
I don’t generally think of myself as a “depressed” person. My sister’s gentle urging to go and have it checked only annoys me. Why? Wouldn’t I feel better if something were “diagnosed”? I’m not so sure that I would. First of all, I do not wish to rely upon a doctor telling me that I’m depressed and then perhaps prescribing meds. I never feel like I want to harm myself or anyone (we will NOT count the lovely daydreams I’ve had when my teenage son has pissed me the hell off for the millionth time!!!). I never stay in bed all day. While I do have some hermit-tendencies, I leave the house. And lately, with the addition of Daisy (my 2014 Mazda) I go out even more than ever. (Not being afraid of a car break-down is a wonderful state of mind).
Anyway, back to the doctor thing. I’m fully aware that depression comes in different degrees and different shapes and sizes. And that my few assessments written above do not even begin to cover what some people experience and deal with on a daily basis. Nor is anything I write meant to be rude, intolerant, or disparaging to those that deal with depression. I also know that I hold many of the answers. FOR ME, I prefer to face what I feel and think head on and work around the ways to improve the quality of my life. Save the medications for people who truly need them and will reap the benefits. Does that make sense? I think I’m a fairly normal “middle aged” woman who has a lot of shit to figure out now that her child is raised (mostly). A lot of the bullshit that I put aside when my marriage broke up in order to focus upon raising of that child is now hitting me in the face – every single day. Add to that that I AM closer to 50 than 40, and have to rediscover who I AM. WHAT I like. WHAT I want. Come on – many of us find ourselves facing these questions. Admit it.
But yep. I have shed a few pounds in spite of my hands shoving too much food into my face when I’m home. That is a good thing. OOOH. Maybe my hands got smaller?! (lame joke – but a joke nonetheless).
Got a new phone…
So I bit the bullet and left Moto (after THEY first left me, or rather my Moto X 2014 without any support or updates), and signed up for the Samsung Galaxy S7. Last year I had stated that the S6 might the be phone to finally tempt me away from my love of the Moto X line (again pre-abandonment by Lenovo Moto). This year it was a no-brainer as the S7 is absolutely lovely to hold and use, and is fast as all get out. In fact, it is the nicest and most “high-end” phone I’ve ever had.
For the first time, one of the reasons that was high on my list in choosing this phone was it’s camera. In the past I’ve told myself that camera quality didn’t matter – and for years this was true (or I let myself believe it to be true). However, I do like to take photos. I wish I was better at it. Unfortunately, my past phones did not help my cause. So, as I’m trying to be OUT more and do more things, I’m hoping with this top of the line camera in my pocket will help me to simply do better. Maybe catch a few actual great shots in the mishmash of ….mediocre shots that I’m sure to finally take. I do have to learn how to use the damned thing tho. (HELLO TUTORIALS!)
I took both of these last night. I wasn’t REALLY driving. Much. But I had hoped that the camera would focus in fact on the windshield more than the cars coming – and it did. Lucky there. But I admire the details and colors I was lucky to catch.
There is no way that I’ll ever have shots like any photographers do. But I will simply hope that they won’t completely suck and I’ll get some enjoyment out of them. Next week I’m going to participate in a walk/run (I will NOT be running – hell no) and I plan to get photos of that. I’ll be testing the camera out a lot in order to figure out the best shots/ways for me to use it to shine